Saturday, July 7, 2007

A Heartbroken God

Wow, it I'm really tired! My wife and I headed home from Natchitoches today only to get an hour down the road and find out that her aunt had just passed away from massive heart attack. We turned around and spent most of the evening with her Dad's family (it was his sister that passed away). Please lift up the Cheryl Donahoe (?) family in your prayers if you are reading this. Today was Cheryl's birthday, she passed away the same day that she came into this world. Thank God, we actually go to visit with her on the 4th after the fireworks on the riverfront.

While that is something you can pray for, I really wanted to blog about my quiet time today in the scriptures. I was studying Genesis 6 about the condition of the world just prior to the flood. It really hit home with me how the Bible says that God was actually grieved at His heart because of man's wickedness, to the point where He was even sorry that He had put man on the earth. Sometimes I forget just how sin in my life effects God and that He is not some emotionless entity. God is an emotional being and my sin can grieve Him to His heart. It is said also in the scriptures that God was grieved with Israel for their disobedience and hard heart. Ephesians 4:30 instructs us not to grieve God's Holy Spirit who lives within those who are genuine followers of Jesus. My prayer is that God would remind me of just how much it breaks His heart when I act in opposition to Him. The closest thing I can relate it to is my relationship with my wife. I seriously hate anything that I ever do that causes her heartache. I want to avoid that if at all possible. I need to have an even deeper motivation not to break God's heart, not because He will punish me, but because I realize the love relationship that He desires with me and out of a love for Him as my God, I should want to avoid breaking His heart at any cost.

Friday, July 6, 2007

Is this what I look like?

Yesterday I had a very interesting experience. On my way back to Nachitoches, LA (we went there for the 4th to see my wife's family) I rear ended a lady who was in her brand new car in Leesville, LA. To amplify the situation, I was driving a rental car (our car is in the shop right now from someone backing into us!) and had forgot my wallet (driver's lisence included) in Natchitoches that morning. So I was major freakin out about what was gonna take place. The first thing that happened was that the guy riding in the passenger seat of the car I bumped jumped out and started cursing and hollering at me (profanities included...). I apologized, somehow talked the lady driving into pulling off the road and not calling the police and handling the situation between us. After some discussion on in an adjacent parking lot, the fact that I am on staff part time at a church as a youth pastor came up and it was really weird how all of the sudden, even though I was the person who hit their vehicle, they began to stand straighter and speak differently. They put out their cigarettes, tried to watch what they said around me and such. While I appreciate this, to be honest it really kinda bothered me. I watched the movie "Saved" with Mandy Moore in it a few days ago and it just kinda reitterated what I gleaned from that movie. The world has a really weird perception of Christians, especially ministers. While the Mandy Moore flick might be offensive to a lot of Christians, I would actually recommend it for educational purposes. So that people will say, "Wow, is that what I really look like to the world?" Like I said, I really appreciate the people involved in the accident trying to not curse around me all of the sudden, but the point I am getting at is that I don't want a ministry title to dictate people's behavior around me as if I'm some holier than thou person that has to be addressed differently. I would have much rathered them be comfortable with me in who they were and understand that it's the gospel that makes me different. I would have rathered them see a guy in a tight situation that exercised a peace and calmness that isn't humanly possible. If I had it to do over again, I would have muched rather seized the opportunity to share Jesus with them than my ministry position. I hope this is making sense. Jesus asked the Father in John 17 that His disciples would be in the world but not of the world. I see that as something I should strive for, to gel into this world's system without compromising truth and while gelling in, at the same time having a radical difference about me because of my relatoinship with Jesus. The world will be hostile to the gospel, but they should be hostile because it's light exposes their darkness, not because they think Christians are weirdo's they need to put on a mask in front of.

Thursday, July 5, 2007

I can't believe I'm blogging!


Wow. This feels really wierd! I'm sure it will get better though. Seriously, I'm not the type of person to just sit down and right about stuff that is going on in me on a daily basis. God has put it on my heart to start blogging though as He expands the ministry He has given me. I think it can be encouraging to others what God is doing in my life and can also be a focused time for me to actually reflect on what He is doing. Too many times I get really busy for God and forget to enjoy Him in the process. I think having to focus and put into words my understanding of what He is up to will help me here.

I probably won't be a daily blogger, but at least I hope to be consistent enough to keep my friends informed and let those who want to know what God is showing me through my relationship with Him. I don't mean for this first one to sound so "churchy," but I do want to honor Jesus even with my blog page!