A Match Made in Heaven: Genesis 24:1-28,50-67

We are nearing the end of our series entitled, “The Glory of God in the Homes of His People,” and so far we have looked at what the Bible says it means to be married, a husband, a wife, a child, a parent, and even a single person. Last week we saw that singleness is a gift from God that it is to display the all-satisfying sufficiency of Christ. What we haven’t looked at yet is how two people are to fall for one another and go from being single to being married. While this is normally called “dating” in our culture, what we are really talking about is simply how God puts two people together for His glory. There is great need to have the Bible speak to this issue in the church today. To do this, we are going to look at, the story of how God put Isaac and Rebekah together in Genesis 24, which was truly a match made in heaven.

One of the reasons that I saved dating until now is that I wanted what we would say about dating to be flavored by a high, Biblical view of marriage. We needed to establish this view of marriage so we could see why some of these principles are so important. Now if you are married, know that this message is for you as well because you play a crucial role in guiding your children and grandchildren in finding the person that they will spend the rest of their lives with.

Now before we look at how this passage speaks to how God desires to put two people together, we need to remember the context and the redemptive historical backdrop of this passage because this passage is not ultimately about dating. What is going on at this point in Genesis is that the perfect world that God had made has fallen apart. In Genesis 12:1-3, God initiates His plan to redeem this fallen world by calling a man named Abram to Himself and promising to make a great nation out of him and to bless all nations through Him. What you have as you read the life of Abraham is this constant tension of how God is going to keep these promises that He has made to Abraham. And with every tension, an opportunity arises for God to show His steadfast love and faithfulness to Abraham (in spite of Sarah’s barrenness, in spite of their age, in spite of God’s testing, etc). In Genesis 24 we see another tension arise: there is no suitable bride for the son of promise (Isaac). So what is God going to do or bring about in order to make good on His promises that He has made to Abraham? That is what this chapter is about: God furthering the history of His salvation through perfect timing and faithful people. This chapter nicely breaks down into three sections: the father’s wishes, the servant’s mission, and the son’s wedding.

“[1] Now Abraham was old, well advanced in years. And the LORD had blessed Abraham in all things. [2] And Abraham said to his servant, the oldest of his household, who had charge of all that he had, “Put your hand under my thigh, [3] that I may make you swear by the LORD, the God of heaven and God of the earth, that you will not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell, [4] but will go to my country and to my kindred, and take a wife for my son Isaac.” [5] The servant said to him, “Perhaps the woman may not be willing to follow me to this land. Must I then take your son back to the land from which you came?” [6] Abraham said to him, “See to it that you do not take my son back there. [7] The LORD, the God of heaven, who took me from my father's house and from the land of my kindred, and who spoke to me and swore to me, ‘To your offspring I will give this land,’ he will send his angel before you, and you shall take a wife for my son from there. [8] But if the woman is not willing to follow you, then you will be free from this oath of mine; only you must not take my son back there.” [9] So the servant put his hand under the thigh of Abraham his master and swore to him concerning this matter.

Notice right away how involved the Father is in finding his son a wife. This is because there is a great difference between what we call “dating” today and what would take place in the Bible. Rather than our modern concept of “dating,” the Bible presents something called “courtship.” One big difference between dating and courting is the involvement of the parents of the people involved. The world of the Bible presents a completely opposite approach than we experience today, with parents often playing a much bigger role in two people getting married than the couple themselves. Now I know we don’t live in that day and time, but I do think that even though we don’t court in our culture, we can apply the principles of courtship. The first principle would be:

1) Honor Your Parents (In Who & How You Date)

Here this would mean that you should identify and involve people in your life (parents) that you can filter potential people through. One of example of how this worked out in my life was that I simply asked my parents to write down a list of qualities that they would like to see in a future spouse for me. It was a little awkward, but my mother took the time to write me a letter expressing some things that she valued in a future spouse for me. They were all reasonable things that I was able to take and look for in a person. She didn’t pick my wife, but I was able to honor her in who I sought relationships with and eventually married.

2) Keep it in the Family…of God.

The second thing that we see in this passage is that Abraham was adamant about his son not marrying a Canaanite woman (3). He makes his servant swear on this and that he will seek a bride for Isaac from his own family (4). The reason that Abraham is so concerned about the Canaanite women is simply this: they worship other gods. Abraham knew that a woman from his family would possibly be a godly woman because in Genesis 31:53, Terah and Nahor are said to worship the same God that Abraham does. This same truth is seen in the New Testament: 2 Corinthians 6:14: “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.” A believing man or woman is to only to marry “in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:39).

This is probably one of the biggest pitfalls I see when it comes to people in relationships. The Bible is clear that for a Christian, dating someone who isn’t a Christian is just not an option. It’s disobedience to Scripture. And this is not just a pitfall in the people in the relationships, but one for their parents as well. If you love your children, you have to protect them here and investigate people who want their affection. Investigate them not just by their lips but by their life, because many unbelievers know how to play the game.

[10] Then the servant took ten of his master's camels and departed, taking all sorts of choice gifts from his master; and he arose and went to Mesopotamia to the city of Nahor. [11] And he made the camels kneel down outside the city by the well of water at the time of evening, the time when women go out to draw water. [12] And he said, “O LORD, God of my master Abraham, please grant me success today and show steadfast love to my master Abraham. [13] Behold, I am standing by the spring of water, and the daughters of the men of the city are coming out to draw water. [14] Let the young woman to whom I shall say, ‘Please let down your jar that I may drink,’ and who shall say, ‘Drink, and I will water your camels’—let her be the one whom you have appointed for your servant Isaac. By this I shall know that you have shown steadfast love to my master.”

3) Make Dating a Matter of Prayer

Dating is serious because you are going to marry someone that you date! I’ll go even further than say that I think it would be wise to only date people that you could potentially marry. If anything should be on your prayer list, it should be this subject. Pray specifically for the right kind of person. Don’t be ridiculous, but be specific. Pray that God would guard your own heart from idolizing relationships and people and from the dating the wrong people. Notice too that Isaac nor Rebekah are even the ones praying here. Have others pray for you here. Parents, are you praying for godly spouses for your children?

[15] Before he had finished speaking, behold, Rebekah, who was born to Bethuel the son of Milcah, the wife of Nahor, Abraham's brother, came out with her water jar on her shoulder. [16] The young woman was very attractive in appearance, a maiden whom no man had known. She went down to the spring and filled her jar and came up. [17] Then the servant ran to meet her and said, “Please give me a little water to drink from your jar.” [18] She said, “Drink, my lord.” And she quickly let down her jar upon her hand and gave him a drink. [19] When she had finished giving him a drink, she said, “I will draw water for your camels also, until they have finished drinking.” [20] So she quickly emptied her jar into the trough and ran again to the well to draw water, and she drew for all his camels. [21] The man gazed at her in silence to learn whether the LORD had prospered his journey or not.

[22] When the camels had finished drinking, the man took a gold ring weighing a half shekel, and two bracelets for her arms weighing ten gold shekels, [23] and said, “Please tell me whose daughter you are. Is there room in your father's house for us to spend the night?” [24] She said to him, “I am the daughter of Bethuel the son of Milcah, whom she bore to Nahor.” [25] She added, “We have plenty of both straw and fodder, and room to spend the night.” [26] The man bowed his head and worshiped the LORD [27] and said, “Blessed be the LORD, the God of my master Abraham, who has not forsaken his steadfast love and his faithfulness toward my master. As for me, the LORD has led me in the way to the house of my master's kinsmen.” [28] Then the young woman ran and told her mother's household about these things.

4) Know that Beauty Fades, and Character Remains

This passage is calling great attention to Rebekah’s character. The servant’s prayer is about a character test that he would employ. She’s the first girl out to the well. She is extremely hard working (10 camels: 25 gallons a piece = 250 gallons!). She is a virgin. She is hospitable, and praise the Lord, she’s good looking too! She is portrayed as a woman of virtue.

Another thing that should guides us in finding a mate is this reality that character and godliness are more important than physical beauty. None of this is saying that being attracted to someone isn’t important, but let’s be honest, that’s the easy part. The hard part is keeping your attraction in check so you can pray through this other stuff. There is nothing wrong with wanting someone to be beautiful outwardly, but it is more important that they be beautiful inwardly because beauty fades, but character remains.

So now we jump ahead a little in our story. Abraham’s servant goes to Rebekah’s family and rehearses this whole situation and then they respond: [50] Then Laban and Bethuel answered and said, “The thing has come from the LORD; we cannot speak to you bad or good. [51] Behold, Rebekah is before you; take her and go, and let her be the wife of your master's son, as the LORD has spoken.”

[52] When Abraham's servant heard their words, he bowed himself to the earth before the LORD. [53] And the servant brought out jewelry of silver and of gold, and garments, and gave them to Rebekah. He also gave to her brother and to her mother costly ornaments. [54] And he and the men who were with him ate and drank, and they spent the night there. When they arose in the morning, he said, “Send me away to my master.” [55] Her brother and her mother said, “Let the young woman remain with us a while, at least ten days; after that she may go.” [56] But he said to them, “Do not delay me, since the LORD has prospered my way. Send me away that I may go to my master.” [57] They said, “Let us call the young woman and ask her.” [58] And they called Rebekah and said to her, “Will you go with this man?” She said, “I will go.” [59] So they sent away Rebekah their sister and her nurse, and Abraham's servant and his men. [60] And they blessed Rebekah and said to her,“Our sister, may you become thousands of ten thousands, and may your offspring possess the gate of those who hate him!”

[61] Then Rebekah and her young women arose and rode on the camels and followed the man. Thus the servant took Rebekah and went his way.

[62] Now Isaac had returned from Beer-lahai-roi and was dwelling in the Negeb. [63] And Isaac went out to meditate in the field toward evening. And he lifted up his eyes and saw, and behold, there were camels coming. [64] And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she dismounted from the camel [65] and said to the servant, “Who is that man, walking in the field to meet us?” The servant said, “It is my master.” So she took her veil and covered herself. [66] And the servant told Isaac all the things that he had done. [67] Then Isaac brought her into the tent of Sarah his mother and took Rebekah, and she became his wife, and he loved her. So Isaac was comforted after his mother's death.”

5) Trust the Sovereignty and Omniscience of God

Has this masterful, romantic tale not been a story of divine providence? All of these things that appear so coincidental remind us of a great truth: there is no such thing as coincidence. God is providing a bride for the promised son. He is showing His steadfast love and faithfulness to Abraham (24:14,27). That’s what this chapter is ultimately about: a God Who abounds in steadfast love and faithfulness to His people, Who works all things together for the good of those who are His. He is the hero of this love story. He is showing Himself to be a God Who can be trusted. Wrapping your mind around the sovereign goodness and omniscience of God can radically shape your dating life. It may be one of the most important truths that you can ever let saturate your heart.

Why do I say that? First of all, because most of you know what it is like to have been in a relationship that you regretted. We’ve known what it is like to have been with someone whom we have wanted but didn’t need (Jer. 17:9). Well guess what? God can give you someone that you want AND NEED. Many people settle for what they want when it’s not what they need and end up with someone they don’t want or need. The second reason that you must let the sovereignty of God saturate your heart is that there are too many things that you can’t control. Just think of all the variables in this story! At the most basic and yet profound level, the issue is this: can you trust God to show His steadfast love and faithfulness to you in His time?

In closing, we need to remember that God puts the best relationships together, not us. This passage is about a God Who is sovereign and will provide, a God Who can be trusted. He is a God shows His steadfast love and faithfulness to His people in working all things together for their good and His glory. Do you believe that about Him? It makes all the difference in the world. Do you believe that God knows not only what you want but what you need and when you need it? Don’t you want that?

Dating, like every other area in our life, is really an issue of faith. Do we really trust God? Do we really consider Him faithful? Think about Abraham’s faith in the first part of this chapter. He’s willing to risk everything on the fact that God will provide a godly spouse for His son. He won’t let Isaac leave the promised land and He won’t let Isaac marry a pagan girl. That makes for pretty slim pickin’s! Abraham knows that there is no such thing for the people of God. There is only provision, steadfast love, & faithfulness.

Rebekah’s decision to forsake everything was much more than a decision to go marry Isaac. It was an act of faith in the God of Abraham. She doesn’t know Isaac from Adam! She has every reason to stay and only one reason to go: she has heard the story of the God Who called Abraham to leave his family and country and how He has promised to fix this broken world through Abraham’s descendants. And now she has learned that the God Who is writing a greater love story wants to write her into it. In forsaking everything to follow the promised son, she is demonstrating her faith in the God of Abraham.

This love story is pointing to a greater love story. God designed marriage to display the love between Christ and the church, so is it any wonder that in a story of God’s working to put two people together we would see this breathtaking analogy of the gospel? What am I talking about? This is the story of how the father sends forth his servant to secure a bride for his son. This reminds us of the story of the gospel. The Father has sent His Spirit into the world to gather a bride for His promised Son, a bride who was far away, not geographically but because of her sins. To reconcile her, the Father didn’t just risk everything; He gave everything: His only Son. If you are a believer, then you remember that there was a day where you had to make Rebekah’s decision to forsake everything and follow the God of Abraham. That was the day God wrote you into this greater love story. And if you are not a believer, know that God has brought you here today because He wants to write you into the greatest love story ever written as well. Will you do like Rebekah and forsake all in faith to follow Him?

Single & Satisfied for the Glory of Christ (1 Corinthians 7:6-9,17-40)

Well, so far we have spent some time talking about the family unit in this series. We’ve devoted a lot of time to the marriage relationship because it is foundational and we have also spent some time exploring the parent child relationship. I know that there are some of you who don’t quite fit into that “normal” category of the family unit. I want to say thank you for your patience as we have addressed some of these things in this series and I’m also happy to tell you that your day has come! Today, we are going to talk about what it means to be single. This is a series about God being glorified in the homes of His people, and according to statistics, a little less than half of those people are single. Not only is it important for you to know a lot of these things that we have talked about so far, but it is also important for you to have a good understanding of what it means to be single during this season of your life from the Scriptures. For that reason we will spend a couple of weeks talking about singleness and dating.

In my experience, singleness is not typically something that is celebrated here in American church culture. It has a very negative stereotype. Andreas Kostenberger has some very insightful words concerning singles in our culture: “Post-adolescent singles are probably the most overlooked social group in the contemporary Western church. While larger congregations typically do have “college and career” ministries (some of which seem to operate at least in part as church-sponsored dating services), and while the topic of singleness occasionally engenders a brief chapter in a book on marriage and the family (witness the current example), for the most part singles have been marginalized within the modern church. To most Western Christians it appears self-evident that marriage is the normal state. Therefore, when a post-adolescent single is found within the body of Christ, many well-meaning believers view it as their Christian duty to locate a compatible mate for that individual.

Moreover, when someone does remain single well into his or her twenties and thirties, either by choice or by circumstances, many people being to try to diagnose the problem (be it sexual orientation, physical appearance, intellectual ability, social ineptitude, unduly high standards, or other factors) that has trapped the single person in the unnatural and undesirable condition of being unmarried. It is probably no exaggeration to say that the thought that singleness could be an acceptable permanent state has not even occurred to many people in our churches today. What is more, the only call of God that Western Christians fear more than the call to missions is the call to a life of celibacy.

Given the fact that 46 percent of the U.S. population over the age of 15 was single at the beginning of the twenty-first century, the neglect and distortion of the state of singleness by the Western church is anything but justified. Although most will eventually marry, statistics indicate that a growing number will never do so, and many who do will find themselves single once again because of divorce or the death of a spouse. For these reasons, and in light of the fact that many of the heroes of the faith have been single (including Jesus) – not to mention the scriptural teaching that singleness can be a gracious gift of God (Matt. 19:11-12, 1 Cor. 7:7) – the contemporary church stands in urgent need of reappraising its stance on the issue of singleness.”[1] That is exactly what we will seek to do today as we examine a passage that profoundly exalts true contentment with Christ alone and single-minded devotion to Him. From this passage I would like to point out three truths that are important for both married and single people.

1) Both Marriage & Singleness are Gifts from God (7:6-9)

What Paul is simply saying here is that even though He wishes that all people were single like him, not everyone has the same gift that Paul has. Some people receive the gift of singleness and other people the gift of marriage, and not all people get the same gift. So how does one know if they have the gift of singleness or not? Well, if you never get married, that is certainly one way to know, but Paul does give some insight here into part of what this gift looks like. He seems to imply that people who receive the gift of singleness are able overcome sexual temptation through celibacy. In other words, I take how Paul is describing people who need to get married in 7:9 to imply that people who do have this gifting experience great grace in overcoming sexual temptation. On the other hand, people who receive the gift of marriage overcome sexual temptation through physical intimacy with a spouse. Paul calls people who are made for marriage people who have trouble exercising “self control.” (7:9). Paul says in 7:36 that such a person sees that their “passions are strong,” and that marriage “has to be” (they have a sense of moral and physical necessity to get married).

Now one more thing I want to point out about this truth is that even people who are given the gift of marriage experience the gift of singleness for a season. No one can say, “It’s OK for me to commit sexual sin because I don’t have the gift of singleness.” If you are single, you have it at least temporarily and are just waiting on a gift exchange! This means that any single person (teen, young adult, engaged, divorced, widowed) should practice celibacy and model contentment with Christ until God in His sovereignty brings someone along to consider marrying.

2) Both Marriage & Singleness are Divine Assignments to bring Glory to God In (7:17-31)

Paul says in 7:17, “Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches.” He will go on to repeat that instruction in 7:20, 7:24, and 7:26. The first thing to notice about this instruction from Paul is that God gives every believer a divine assignment. All Christians have been given a divine assignment in life. For some it is circumcision (being a Jew), for some uncircumcision (being a Gentile), for some it is slavery, for some it is being free. For some it is marriage and for some it is some form of singleness (being single, engaged, divorced, widowed). Sometimes the assignment gets modified. The bottom line though is that each of these assignments are a sovereign calling from God (7:20,24) in which we should seek to bring glory to God. The idea is that we are to bloom where we are planted and that these assignments are the pots in which we are planted.

Now just in case you are wondering about this, saying that God has a divine, sovereign assignment for every believer doesn’t mean that God approves of things like slavery, divorce, etc. And it also doesn’t mean that God is responsible for the evil choices that individuals make as part of that assignment. Genesis 50:20 is helpful here where Joseph tells his brothers that what they had intended for evil, God had intended for good. There you see Joseph being given a divine assignment (betrayal, slavery, imprisonment) in which there were many circumstances that God did not approve of and is not responsible for, yet intended for good. Joseph’s part was to bring God glory in that divine assignment. I think that Paul is saying something very similar here, that all of us find ourselves on different assignments in life in which God in His wisdom saw fit to bring about for our good and His glory and that we are to bloom in those places that we are planted. That means that married people should seek to bring God glory in their marriage (husbands modeling Christ-like love & servant leadership; wives modeling helpful submission). That means that single people should seek to bring God glory in their singleness (modeling contentment with Christ; preparing yourself for marriage).

The next thing that we see here is that every believer should seek to bring glory to God in his or her assignment with a sense of urgency. Why do I say urgency? Paul says here that there is a “present distress” (7:26) that we’re living in and that it should flavor our attitudes towards marriage and singleness and he goes on to say things like, “Don’t seek a spouse if you don’t have one. Let those who have spouses live as though they had none. Let those who deal with the world live as though they had no dealings with it.” What does he mean? He doesn’t mean that anyone who is single should not seek marriage and He doesn’t mean that a husband should not act like a godly husband to his wife, but I think he does mean that people shouldn’t make things like marriage the major pursuit of their life. Why? He says it is because we live in this “present distress.” What is the “present distress”? It is defined in the passage here. Combine 7:29 and 7:31 and what you get is that Paul is talking about an “appointed time” that is coming very shortly where the “present form of this world” is going to pass away. We are living in the last days, and we should live with urgency in light of that reality and not be weighed down by “worldly troubles” (7:28). The time we have is short and we have a job to do in taking the gospel to the nations. Human marriage, as much of a gift as it is, is only a temporary reality. It is not eternal (Matthew 22:23-30).

This idea of living with urgency in light of the world’s soon end and Christ’s soon return is a major theme in the New Testament. Romans 13:11-14: “Besides this you know the time, that the hour has come for you to wake from sleep. For salvation is nearer to us now than when we first believed. The night is far gone; the day is at hand. So then let us cast off the works of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in quarreling and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.” 1 John 2:15-17: “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world – the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions – is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.” These passages are telling us to wake up from the slumber that this world has rocked us into and to start living in light of eternity. At the end of the day, human marriage is a temporary thing that belongs to the present form of this world that is going to pass away. If you are single, this should give you a whole new perspective on life. If you are married, I think that living in light of eternity will only enrich your marriage because it keeps your marriage from being the end game and makes how you can bring glory to God in your marriage with the time that you have the end game. This reality doesn’t degrade marriage; it infuses it with purpose!

3) Marriage is Good, But Singleness is Better (7:32-40)

Paul says that someone who remains single “will do even better” (7:38) and will be “happier” (7:40) than someone who gets married. Wow. That would have been a hard pill to swallow as a single guy in college. I remember thinking in college that I would be fine dying a martyr’s death or the Lord coming back very soon, just as long as I could get married to a woman and sleep with her first! I imagine that is what a lot of young, single Christians are thinking but not saying. And if you’re not, you either have the gift of celibacy or are lying!

So why does Paul call singleness better? I think two reasons are abundantly clear in this chapter. First, singleness makes one more advantageous for kingdom ministry. Now it is probably a good time to clarify that Paul is not throwing marriage under the bus in this chapter. Paul’s writings and the rest of the Bible has a higher view of marriage than we could possibly imagine and we should strive for balance here. In 1 Timothy 4:1-5, Paul condemns those who forbid marriage as promoting the teaching of demons.

Having said that, one can easily see practically this truth. Marriage does tie us to a different set of priorities and anxieties, does it not? If God calls a single person to some dangerous part of Africa tomorrow, they can transition into that call much easier than I could. And while there would be questions that would arise, the questions that would arise for me carry far more anxiety than a single person’s would. A single person wonders what moving to that part of the world and risking their lives for the gospel would mean for them; I wonder what it will mean for my wife, my four-year-old son, and my one-year-old daughter. I’m not just risking my life; I’m risking theirs as well. And there are fewer things that would haunt me more than the thought of my wife or my children suffering and being martyred. What’s more, what if I’m the one martyred? I leave a wife widowed and my children without a father. Is the cause of Christ worth that risk? ABSOLUTELY! The point is simply that a single person is much more versatile when it comes to the things of the Lord and how to please Him. They are able to live with an “undivided devotion to the Lord” in a way that married people with a family aren’t. Again, that doesn’t make married people second class Christians. It is just one practical reason that Paul calls singleness better.

The second reason that Paul calls singleness better is that singleness magnifies the all-satisfying sufficiency of Christ. Both marriage and singleness display something. Marriage is meant to display the covenant keeping love between Christ and the church. Singleness, I believe, is meant to display the all-satisfying sufficiency of Christ. It shows the world that Christ is enough; that Christ is better than a spouse, or children, or anything other thing that this world has to offer. Now that is a profound truth! And it is a truth that speaks to much more than being single doesn’t it? The all-satisfying sufficiency of Christ is a reality that all of us are to walk in because if we do not, we will begin to make things like relationships and sex and marriage and spouses and children and possessions into idols. What happens when your spouse dies? What happens when your children are taken away? What happens when you lose your possessions? When we understand the gospel we understand that all of those things are not places that we find our identity; they are gifts of grace that were purchased for us at the cross. When we understand the gospel, we understand that we were made for more than marriage. We were made for God and our greatest need in this life is God Himself. The gospel is the story of how the all-satisfying and all-sufficient God of the universe created us for Himself, to be satisfied with Himself forever. Instead of living with Him in infinite joy, we rebelled against Him and became a dead race of rebels who are sinners by nature and by choice. How does He deal with our rebellion? He humbles Himself and becomes one of us and fulfills all of the righteous demands that are upon us as a member of the human race and then, having committed no sin, suffers every ounce of God’s wrath upon the cross in our place! He dies in our place, for our rebellion and then rose victoriously in order to give us life again. He does all of this so that we can be reconciled to Him. He does this so that we can go from being and wicked and empty people to being eternally satisfied in Him and with Him.

Why is it so foreign to us to see Christ in such an all-satisfying way? This is what it means to treasure Christ, to see Him as enough. It means to see Him as better. It means to drink from the well that is HIM and to never be thirsty again. It means to say that we can lose everything, just not Him. And it means that everything pales in comparison to Him. We need to remember that being single and satisfied with Christ is where everything is headed for God’s people. There is coming a day where all believers will be solely satisfied in and devoted to Christ. And in my imagination, I see people who have tasted the gift of marriage on that day looking around, absolutely overwhelmed by the all-satisfying sufficiency of Christ. It’s at that point that I imagine the single people looking around at us and saying, “I told you He was enough!” They will say that to us because they have tasted it for a lifetime.

---

[1] Kostenberger, Andreas, “God, Marriage, & Family,” pg. 173-174

Redeeming Parenthood & Childhood: Ephesians 6:1-4 (Part 3)

Well, it has been some time since we were in Ephesians 6:1-4, so let me try to briefly review where we are in this series for the sake of our regulars and our new comers alike. We are currently going through a series entitled The Glory of God in the Homes of His People. This series is aimed the home because we recognize that in our church and in our community, Satan is actively dismantling marriages and families at an alarming rate. So we have been digging into the Bible to rediscover what God’s purposes and principles are for the home and have been asking God to change the homes in our church with this teaching and to allow this teaching to be contagious good news that impacts eternity for the glory of God. We have spent a lot of time looking at the marriage relationship between husband and wife and have now moved to a focus on parenthood and childhood as well. We will look at some issue concerning singleness, dating, and divorce in the weeks to come, but I just want to encourage any new comers who are interested that all of the material that we have covered so far is available online or in hard copy form upon your request.

There are two things that I want to touch on before we continue in our passage. The first thing is simply to point out to you that what we are going to be talking today, instructing children, is really another expression of the vision for Dry Creek Baptist Church that I shared with you last week. I said that Dry Creek Baptist Church exists to bring glory to God by making disciples who will treasure Christ and carry Him to the ends of the earth. This call that Paul gives us to bring up children in the “instruction of the Lord” is simply an expression of that vision. In other words, your parenting is ultimately about making disciples who will treasure Christ out of your children.

The second disclaimer I want to give you is a reminder of the context of this passage. In these various relationships that we see in this latter part of Ephesians, Paul is fleshing out the Spirit-filled submission of the new man. In other words, this is how people who have been saved, born again, received a new heart, etc. should act and this is how only people who have received a new heart through the gospel can act. This means that the gospel of Jesus Christ is a necessary ingredient to seeing any of this become a reality. These are not simply two ways to be a good child (honor & obedience) and three ways to be a good parent (avoid provoking to anger, discipline, & instruction). This is like telling you that you need to kick a 100-yard field goal! You need the help of some hurricane winds in order to do that. That is the help that God offers you in the gospel, the power to become what you are not. Now we will revisit this point at the end, but I just want to clearly establish up front: Christianity is not moralism! It is not Bobby Boucher theology. None of us “can do it.” We need Someone who can in our place and the good news of the gospel is that someone has: Jesus Christ.

1) GOD’S CALL UPON CHILDREN (6:1-3)

i) OBEDIENCE (1): “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”

ii) HONOR (2-3) – “Honor your father and your mother (this is the first commandment with a promise), that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”

2) GOD’S CALL UPON PARENTS (6:4) – “FATHERS” have a leading responsibility in the raising of their children.

i) THE NEGATIVE (4a): “Do not provoke your children to anger”

We said this does not mean that our children should never get angry, but this does mean that we are not supposed to “provoke” anger in our children in ways that are unnecessary. We are to deal with them, even in confrontation, in a way that is tender and gracious and minimizes the potential for anger in them. We talked about some ways, but that list was not conclusive. Ultimately, the idea is that you as a parent genuinely try to do the best you can before God and when you mess up, you let your children see you be humble, real, transparent, repentant, etc.

ii) THE POSITIVE (4b): “Bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

(1) Discipline:

The word “discipline” here refers to training our children in general, but also encompasses discipline for wrongdoing. It is important to remember that corrective discipline is for rebellion (disobedience) against God. This rebellion falls into two broad areas: God’s rules and the parents’ rules.

(2) Formative Instruction:

This passage answers for us a very important question: Who is primarily responsible for making disciples of children? Who is primarily responsible to teach children the words and ways of God? The Bible’s answer is that it is the parents who are primarily responsible. According to the Bible, parents play a crucial, God-ordained role in the discipleship of their children. Parents, especially fathers, are to bring up their children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Parents do not bear the sole responsibility, but they do bear the primary responsibility. This means that the role of the church in the discipleship of our children is a complimentary and a supplementary one. We should work towards a “both/and” view of the home and the church in the discipleship of our children and students, not an “either/or” view.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 would be worth the time to revisit here. This passage places the primary responsibility of teaching children the Bible upon parents and speaks to different instances of when and how this teaching can take place. It reads, “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” I think we see from this passage that teaching children is something that is both structured and spontaneous.

One of my favorite places that I see this modeled is in the spiritual development of Timothy in 2 Tim. 3:15, where it is said that he has been “acquainted with the sacred writings” since his childhood. Who acquainted Timothy with the Scriptures? 2 Timothy 1:5 tells us that it was his mother and grandmother.

The most fundamental task of parenting is showing God to your children. Again, this is to take place in ways that are both structured and spontaneous. There should be diligent, intentional effort on your part to teach the Bible to your children. There should be some intentional structure in place for teaching your children the Bible. This means that you try to employ a time daily or weekly for family worship to take place. What do I mean by family worship? While it could look different in any number of homes, I think of it along the following lines: a time where the family gathers to sing, read, discuss, ask questions, memorize scripture, and pray. That should be normal and as often as possible. Then possibly have at least a day a week where you have a more in-depth time to learn the Bible together (example & resources).

One final structure that I want to encourage you to have in place is the local church. As we said, both parents and the church share a responsibility to disciple children, and one of the ways that you as a parent can help your children to learn the Bible is have them in church. Resolve that your children will find themselves under the teaching of the Word of God in a local church.

Spontaneous instruction can take on any number of forms, so the one thing I want to I want to point out to you here is that is that we instruct our children not just by teaching them truth, but by modeling it for them as well. Your walk with Christ is modeling something to your children. Your children will learn what it means to be passionate for Christ or not to be from you. What you treasure is teaching something to your children. Your children will learn what true contentment means from you, or they will become slaves to the materialism of our culture. Finally, your marriage is modeling something to your children. Probably the most profound thing they will see you model is the covenant relationship between Christ and the Church by watching you as moms and dad be husband and wife. This is why we have spent so much time focusing on marriage so far in this series, because your marriage has everything to do with your parenting. Consider this profound quote from Piper as we close: “God has ordained that both mother and father be involved in raising children because they are husband and wife before they are mother and father. And what they are as husband and wife is where God wants children to be: As husband and wife, they are a drama of the covenant keeping love between Christ and the Church. That is where God wants children to be. His design is that children grow up watching Christ love the church and watching the church delight in following Christ. His design is that the beauty and strength and wisdom of this covenant relationship be absorbed by the children from the time they are born.”[1]

So there it is. The big question that I want to ask you, as your pastor, is simply this: are you doing this? Are you at least working towards making this a reality in your home? I love the words of Psalm 78:4: “We will not hide them from our children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the LORD, and his might, and the wonders that he has done.” Again, this type of resolve only comes from a new heart that God has granted through the gospel and can only be sustained by the hurricane force wind of His Holy Spirit in our lives. As we said last time, our children don’t need parents who are good at playing church, they need parents who treasure Christ and are desperate for and dependant upon Him.

---

[1] Piper, John, “This Momentary Marriage,” pg. 144

Redeeming Parenthood & Childhood: Ephesians 6:1-4 (Part 2)

Last week we began by looking at some foundational ideas when it comes to procreation in the Bible. The big idea there was simply to connect the fact that children were originally meant to expand God's kingdom (Genesis 1:28) with the Great Commission to expand God's kingdom in the New Testament (Matthew 28:19-20). When we put those two together, we arrived at the idea that our mission in marriage is ultimately to make disciples of Jesus Christ out of our children. We then looked at the first instruction to children in Ephesians 6:1-4 and we will pick up here with the second one:

i) GOD’S CALL UPON CHILDREN (6:1-3)

(1) OBEDIENCE (1): “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” We pointed out that in obeying their parents, children are ultimately obeying the Lord and we saw how this command brought out the issue of authority.

(2) HONOR (2-3) – “Honor your father and your mother (this is the first commandment with a promise), that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”

What does it mean to honor one’s parents? We have already seen that honor entails obedience (6:1), but it also means a lot more. One can obey their parents in a way that doesn’t honor them. Honoring means respecting our parents (verbally at times: Prov. 31:28) and that their counsel holds weight with us. In the Old and New Testament times, honor also meant helping around the house with various chores. Honor also extended as far as loving and caring for your parents as they get older (Matt. 15:1-9, 1 Tim. 5:8), and still does.

Now in telling children to honor their parents, Paul is quoting Exodus 20:12, which is the fifth commandment of the Ten Commandments, but is the first horizontal commandment and is the only one with a promise attached to it. The promise is that they would experience longevity in the land and the inference is that if they did not honor their parents, then they would not experience longevity, but judgment. How does this translate today?

Paul universalizes this promise as legitimate for all in one sense, but there is another that I would like you to consider. I would say that in the New Testament, the stakes are actually higher than living long in the land because Christians are not promised a piece of land. Instead of being promised a piece of land, what is at stake in the New Testament is eternal life in Christ or eternal judgment from Him. So in a sense this means that the promise of eternal life is attached to children who honor their parents. We have to be careful here. This is not teaching a works based salvation, but is saying that what is characteristic of children who have received eternal life through the gospel is that they honor their parents. In other words, people who have a problem with authority and will not honor their parents should be concerned about their souls, because to rebel against authority is to act like a person who is on their way to hell.

ii) GOD’S CALL UPON PARENTS (6:4)

The first thing I want you to notice about God’s call upon you parents is that “Fathers” have a leading responsibility in the raising of their children. In other words, their headship is extended to every relationship within the home.

(1) THE NEGATIVE (4a): “Do not provoke your children to anger”

Of all the things that God could have cautioned parents to not provoke in their children, why does God single out “anger”? Piper says it is because, “Anger is the most common emotion of the sinful heart when it confronts authority. Dad embodies authority. Apart from Christ, the child embodies self-will. And when the two meet, anger flares.”[1]

Now this does not mean that if our children ever get angry with us that we are doing something wrong, but this does mean that we are not supposed to “provoke” anger in our children in ways that are unnecessary. We are to deal with them, even in confrontation, in a way that is tender and gracious and minimizes the potential for anger in them.

How do we do this? One way is by keeping our own anger in check. For some of you what I just said about tenderness and graciousness sounded like a foreign language. It didn’t sound foreign because you couldn’t understand it, but because you have no idea what it means to confront or discipline your children in a tender or gracious way. Your automatic default when confronting resistance in your children is to raise your voice, point your fingers, and enter into this harsh, “drill sergeant” mode. I would caution you to remember the words of James 1:19-20, that “the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” Hear this: your anger will not bring about God’s righteous end in your children, only the gospel will. So one way you avoid provoking your children to anger is by overcoming anger in your own heart, and this too only happens through the cross, where God overcame His righteous anger toward us.

A couple of other ways that children are provoked to anger in the Bible are favoritism and passiveness. We see favoritism provoking Joseph’s brothers to the point of hating and wanting to kill him in Genesis 37. David’s passiveness in dealing with the rape of Absalom’s sister leads to Absalom’s murder of Amnon and his rebellion in 2 Samuel 13-18 (See also Jacob and Dinah in Genesis 34).

Another way that we avoid anger in our children is by seeking to avoid hypocrisy. Deut. 6:4-6, that great passage on parenting in the Old Testament, begins with the call for parents to worship God themselves with all their hearts, minds, souls, and strength. The words of God are to be on and in their hearts before they can be on and in the hearts of their children. The idea, I think, is that you can’t reproduce what you do not have and that you can’t fake passion for Christ because it is by definition something that isn’t fake. And one of the quickest ways to frustrate your children is to fake something you don’t have, because your children will not be fooled when everyone else is. What we all need is to replace hypocrisy with humility and let our children see us confess our sins to them and repent of them and constantly hope in the gospel. Our children don’t need parents who are good at playing church, they need parents who have tasted and see that the Lord is good.

(2) THE POSITIVE (4b): “Bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

(a) Discipline:

The word “discipline” here refers to training our children in general, but also encompasses discipline for wrongdoing. While this latter sense is not popular in our culture today, no one can honestly read the Bible and not see that the Bible repeatedly calls for parents to discipline their children and warns of the consequences for not doing so. Here are several examples from the book of Proverbs:

· Proverbs 13:24 – “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.”

· Proverbs 22:15 – “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.”

· Proverbs 23:13-14 – “Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with the rod, he will not die. If you strike him with a rod, you will save his soul from Sheol.”

· Proverbs 29:15 – “The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.”

So it is pretty clear that parents should discipline their children, but what should we discipline for? Corrective discipline is for rebellion (disobedience) against God. This statement helps us understand when a situation merits discipline and when it doesn’t. If a two year old spills something, it may or may not merit discipline. If they have spilled something as an accident or touched something that you haven’t told them not to, there isn’t rebellion involved. But if you have clearly given an understandable directive and they have disobeyed it, then it is a matter of discipline.

Rebellion occurs and should be met with discipline in two broad areas: God’s rules and the Parent’s rules. A child or teenager should be disciplined accordingly if they don’t comply with a standard that the parents have established in the home or if they have defied the commands of scripture. If Sam hits Lily, he needs discipline because has rebelled against the command to love his neighbor. Likewise, the Bible may not touch every rule in the house that needs to be established. That’s what the general command of obey you parents is for.

At this point, I would like to revisit this thing of lowering the “bar.” If God sets the bar, then lowering it is rebellion. We may feel better about it, but in reality, all we have done is joined with our child in rebellion. So on one level, lowering the bar is rebellion on our part, but on another level, some instances of lowering the bar is simply illogical. I have in mind here those things that parents don’t enforce because “they don’t want their kids to resent them/it.” Let’s take church attendance for example. A parent may say, “I don’t force my children to go to church because I don’t want them to resent it.” My reply is simply do you operate under the same mentality when it comes to their education? “I don’t make them go to Algebra because I really want them to like Algebra.” I didn’t think so. Why not? Because it is completely illogical. So why do we operate that way in the areas that matter most in our children’s lives (church, dating, etc.)?

Let me tell you why your children will not want to go to church. It will be one of two reasons. The first one will be if they are a fallen sinner. If this is the case, they won’t love God and won’t want to be there. And what does a lost sinner need? They need the gospel. So why would you not place them in the one place they are going to repeatedly hear it preached? The Second reason would be if the version of Christianity you have sold them as parents was distasteful to them. If you haven’t modeled true Christianity and love for the bride that Jesus died for, then yes, they will not love her either. God give the church some parents like Joshua, who said in Joshua 24:15 that “as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.”

One more thing we need to be careful with here is raising the bar higher than God does or failing to bring the gospel alongside of it. We call that legalism. As we said earlier, enforcing the “bar” is intended to bring about this sense of desperation that we apply the gospel to. To not do so without applying the gospel to their shortcomings is to provoke our children to either pride or despair.

---

[1] Piper, John, “This Momentary Marriage,” pg. 150

Redeeming Parenthood & Childhood: Ephesians 6:1-4 (Part 1)

Today we are turning a corner in this series. So far we have focused exclusively on the marriage union and have seen the purpose, pattern, & problem of marriage followed by a look at how God is redeeming marriage through and for the gospel (manhood, womanhood, sexual intimacy, etc.). The reason for this exclusive focus is because the ultimate purpose of the marriage union is to display the covenant love between Christ and His bride, the Church. There is however a secondary purpose to the marriage union that we have not mentioned, and that is procreation. Ideally, the marriage union is meant to result in children. We read in Genesis 1:28 that after God created man and woman in His image, He gave them the command to “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” This duty to procreate that is also part of God’s original pattern for marriage was also corrupted by the fall and is in need of redemption. So after a laying an introductory foundation, we are going to focus on what redeemed parenthood and childhood look like in these next two messages.

FOUNDATIONAL PRINCIPLES:

i) Children were meant to expand God’s Kingdom (Genesis 1:28)

Before we deal with what parenthood and childhood is supposed to look like, we need to take a second and put procreation in its place within the framework of the Bible as a whole. We need to understand that before the fall, procreation was intended to fill the earth with worshippers of God so that God’s glory would be multiplied to the ends of the earth. Children were meant to expand God’s kingdom. And before the fall, Adam and Eve would have reproduced both physically and spiritually at the same time by having children. This is not the case after the fall, as man dies spiritually and God’s image is corrupted in man. The fall wrecks this design.

ii) God’s Kingdom now expands through spiritual Children (Matthew 28:19-20)

Though the Old Testament is constantly moving towards and anticipating redemption, this idea of God’s kingdom expanding to the ends of the earth doesn’t come to fruition again until the coming of Jesus Christ, Who Colossians 1:15 says “is the image of the invisible God.” And what Jesus Christ accomplishes in His life, death, and resurrection is that spiritually dead men and women can now be born again by faith in Himself and His finished work. And now with the gospel, God desires to expand His kingdom through the church by making disciples. Matthew 28:19-20 reads, “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Now our mission is not to multiply physically, but spiritually by preaching the gospel and making disciples to the ends of the earth. This is essentially the same command to fill the earth with worshippers of God.

iii) Implications:

If we connect these two kingdom realities (procreation & missions), I think we come up with at least four very important implications that we need to consider before diving into out passage in Ephesians 6:1-4:

Our marriages have a mission, not ultimately to procreate, but to make disciples. God desires that our marriages result in spiritual children that expand His kingdom. The idea behind this series is not everyone having nice and neat little marriages and families, but that God’s glory would be displayed and multiplied in and from the homes of His people to the ends of the earth.

Though disciple making is ultimate, procreation must be seen as a valid way to make disciples. This point really serves the balance the first one and reminds us that having children is consistently celebrated in the Word of God. Psalm 127:3-5 is one such place: “Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver full of them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.” In the Bible, children considered a gift and blessing from God. And having and raising children is presented as a valid way to reproduce and preserve spiritual heritage. This does not mean that if a Christian family has a lot of children, that all of them will be saved and expand God’s kingdom. But I do think a child being reared in “discipline and instruction of the Lord” may be evidence that God is sovereignly at work to save that child and expand His kingdom through them, and in that sense, having and raising children can be a way that God expands His kingdom.

Because disciple making is ultimate, parenting is ultimately about disciple making. The point of parenting is to see God’s kingdom expanded for the glory of God. I know that you can’t save your children, but I do think that you can assume that since they belong to your home there is a good chance that God is at work to save them and that you will be one of the divine means that He uses to bring that about. So your ultimate focus should be on making disciples of your children. Your primary focus should be on their spiritual formation. This is seen here in Ephesians 6:4 and also in passages like Deuteronomy 6:4-7: “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” As John Piper so eloquently says, “Marriage is for making children into disciples of Jesus. The purpose of marriage is not merely to add more bodies to the planet. The point is to increase the number of followers of Jesus on the planet. God’s purpose in making marriage the place to have children was never merely to fill the earth with people, but to fill the earth with worshippers of the one true God.”[1] This also indicates that parents are the true children’s and youth ministers found in the Bible.

Because disciple making is ultimate, someone doesn’t have to be a parent to have and raise “children” in God’s family. I think this is some of point of Mark 10:29-30, where Jesus says, “Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions and in the age to come eternal life.” In the church, there can be spiritual parents to spiritual children, like we read about in Titus 2:3-5. So we see that someone doesn’t have to have children to make disciples of them. They can be a spiritual parent to children in the church and to “spiritual orphans” who don’t have godly parents to raise them in the “discipline and instruction of the Lord.” I would say that this also touches adoption, which is an area that the church should be leading the charge as a way to make disciples of orphans. But however this plays out, my desire for our church as a whole, and families in particular, is that we would be resolved to equip the next generation for the sake of God’s glory.

2) FOUNDATIONAL PASSAGE: Ephesians 6:1-4

It is important to understand that what is going on in this portion of Ephesians is the fleshing out of the Spirit-filled submission (5:18-21) of the new man (4:20-24) that springs from the new hearts that we have been given by the gospel.

i) GOD’S CALL UPON CHILDREN (6:1-3)

(1) OBEDIENCE (1) – “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”

This is what Spirit-filled submission looks like in the heart of a son or daughter: them obeying their parents. In a parallel passage in Colossians 3:20, both the scope and the reasoning behind this command are amplified. There we read: “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.” The most fundamental and important thing for a child to understand is that their obedience to their parents “pleases the Lord.” Their obedience is “in the Lord” (6:1), which is equivalent to “as to the Lord” (6:5), means that in obeying their parents, children are ultimately obeying the Lord. This obedience is commanded by Scripture from cover to cover. Consider the following passages from the book of Proverbs alone:

· Proverbs 1:8-9 – “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.”

· Proverbs 6:20-24 – “My son, keep your father’s commandment, and forsake not your mother’s teaching. Bind them on your heart always; tie them around your neck. When you walk, they will lead you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk with you. For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light, and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life, to preserve you from the evil woman, from the smooth tongue of the adulteress.”

· Proverbs 23:22 – “Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.”

· Proverbs 30:17 – “The eye that mocks a father and scorns to obey a mother will be picked out by the ravens of the valley and eaten by vultures.”

OK, so that last one was a little brutal. But are you beginning to see what a big deal this is to God that a child honors and obeys their parents? Did you know that excessive rebellion against parental authority actually carried the death penalty in the Old Testament (Leviticus 20:6)? Why is this command so important?

What we are really talking about here is one of the most important issues in life: the issue of authority. Scripture teaches that all authority comes from and is ordained by God (Rom. 13:1-2, 1 Pet. 2:13). This implies two things. First, God’s authority is always ultimate (this balances, “in everything”). Secondly, how we treat any horizontal authority is automatically a vertical issue, meaning that to rebel against authority is to rebel against God Himself. Authority exists to teach us submission to God, because if we can’t submit to horizontal authority that we can see, how are we going to submit to God?

I also want to point parents to this vertical reality as well. You must enforce your child’s obedience to you because a vertical issue is at stake when they are disobeying you. When your child disobeys you, they are disobeying God. This is why you should never lower the “bar” because the function of the “bar” is to teach them that there are consequences for disobedience and to show them their inability to measure up to the bar so that this hopeless & helpless desperation develops that sees the gospel as their only hope.

---

[1] Piper, John, “This Momentary Marriage,” pg. 138-139